


I still love you

by UnamusedFangirl



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Shounen-ai, Yaoi, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnamusedFangirl/pseuds/UnamusedFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I love you, which is why I let you go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I still love you

**Author's Note:**

> cries because this is too short

Two males lay naked in a comfortable queen sized bed, wrapped in each other's arms, and thoroughly enjoying each other's company as they panted, trying to catch their breaths. Sweat glistened off their hot bodies, the two smiling away their fatigue. The two just had their first time and it was filled with pleasure and love. It was soft and slow, making sure each other enjoyed the intercourse. It was blissful and filled with love, it was absolutely perfect.

'' That was amazing!'' Misaki exclaimed happily.

Saruhiko chuckled at his statement, poking his boyfriend's cheek. " Of course it was, what else did you expect?''

'' For it to be very painful.'' Misaki replied.

''Was I too hard on you?''

'' No, you were just right.'' Misaki said, blushing while kissing his cheek.

'' I love you Misaki.~''

'' I love you too Saru.'' The words echoed in Saruhiko's mind, making him smile unconsciously as they both drifted off to sleep.

 

_Beep beep, beep beep_

    With a lazy hand, Saruhiko groaned loudly as he turned the alarm clock off. Waking up with a dream about him and Misaki. How wonderful. He searched for his glasses on the nightstand beside his bed, and upon finding it, he put those on after rubbing his eyes in attempt to wake himself up.

    Why did he has to have that dream? Great, now he's upset before the day even started. It was his day off too. With a heavy and prolonged sigh, he stood up from his oh so cozy bed and went to the bathroom.

    He splashed his face with water, trying to clear the scene from his dream away from his head, and failing quite miserably. Misaki's smile was still burning like fire in his mind. Misaki smile was heartwarming, filled with love and shining just like the sun itself. He loved it when his childhood friend smiled, he loved every single bit of it. Misaki looks like an angel when he does. He loves it so damn much.  Even though he probably wont get to see that beautiful smile again, and even if he does, it wont be directed at him. Saruhiko grunted and punched the wall as agony replaced the emptiness in his heart. Pain shot through his hand but he couldn't care less as of the moment. At least the pain from his hand was enough to distract him from the pain of his heart strings being pulled on.

    Now the memories of Misaki and him came flowing into his mind, taking over his thoughts, taunting him. He sighed heavily. There was no getting rid of it. Misaki Yatagarasu is a big part of his life after all. He was also a big part of Misaki's life as well, but that was before Misaki left him. There's no way to forget and there's no way to move on either. he loved Misaki too much to be able to do either. And that made Saruhiko angrier than he was.

     Maybe it was destiny or some shit like that. But whatever it was, it was inevitable. He was too different than the others. Yata fit in with them immediately and they became family instantly. Before it was only Saruhiko by his side, but now he's got a whole damned family, and that makes the Blue sick to the very pit of his stomach. Yata looked up to the other clansmen, especially the stupid Red King, and slowly he became distant towards his childhood friend. Before they talked for hours, told each other everything, and did everything together. And that started slipping away from Fushimi and all he could do was watch it happen.

     He was a traitor. A traitor to Homura and a traitor to his friend. Ex-friend and lover actually. And the sick thing is he didn't mind at all. Rather than being forgotten by Misaki, he would much rather be hated by him. At least that way, he can still be a part of his mind. But who could blame him for leaving? Misaki was the one that left him first, so he left Misaki too. 

     Mood dropping as every second passed by, the ravenette walked out of his bathroom. Maybe a nice breakfast will get his mind off of his heartache. Oh who was he kidding? He was in no mood to eat. He has no appetite right now. If he did ate, he'd probably throw it up anyways.

    Now angered, he start picking up random things and threw them against the wall. First a vase, then his stupid alarm clock, then an object he had no clue what it was. He kept throwing his tantrum until his hands grabbed a familiar portrait that was sitting peacefully on his nightstand a few moments ago.

     He looked at the picture and tears started forming in his eyes. The picture was of Misaki and him on their third date. It was of Misaki clinging to his arm as they shared a scarf together. Saruhiko remembered it well. It was on Christmas Eve, and the two has spent the whole day together. It was perfect from the start to the finish. They went to a temple, and a carnival together. In the end they've exchanged gifts in Yata's apartment. Saruhiko gave him he watch that he always wore, even to this day, and Misaki gave hint hat scarf that they wore together in the picture. He had knitted it himself, and now that scarf is hidden away in Saruhiko's closet. The whole day was just magnificent and ended with a short but meaningful kiss with them in each other's loving arms.

    The picture was taken by one of their middle school friends back then. It was his favorite picture that he had. And now years later, after keeping it for so long, it made him start to cry his heart out. The blue let single tear drop fell. Then another. Then another one. Until tears started steaming out and his eyes became blurry as he slid down a wall, his back against the hard surface, hugging his knees to his face, with the picture still in his now trembling hands.

    This is the thing about remembering your past. You're happy for about two seconds, then you became angry, upset, and broken along with so many other difficult emotions. It just keeps replaying in your mind and there's no escaping it. It makes you regret things, it makes you want to punch someone in the face, it makes you want to just get rid of your feelings and memories. Because being nostalgic makes you realize one thing. It makes you realize that all of that is gone. Forever. Away and not yours anymore. Saruhiko let out a strangled cry as his tear drops keep rolling down his cheeks. All he wants right now is to have Misaki's arms around him, for him to comfort him as he cried his eyes out,but that is a wish that will not ever be his reality. Not anymore. That thought made his heart double over in pain. He has lost his smiling ray of sunshine. No, he was the one that gave him up himself. It was a choice he himself made.

    There are plenty things he regretted. He regretted not taking a different way to have Misaki stay by his side, he regretted leaving Misaki behind. He regretted his choices. But he will never ever regret one thing. He will never regret loving Misaki.


End file.
